This week has been a little stressful and not for the usual reasons.

Despite getting quite a bit done and engaging a lot with community and causes I love, I haven’t felt like that I’ve been doing enough. I’m lucky enough to have lots of people able to talk me down with rationality but with the end of this journey in sight, I am still working on staying in the moment and celebrating all that we have done.

This has led to a lot of up and down feelings of discontent and Evan having to slow me down several times as I try to irrationally overload our schedule. Thankfully, he’s managed it and thankfully, this week has been full of moments that made me check myself and let acknowledge the beauty of my life right now. Here’s a few that stand out:

1. Emailing
I know it sounds weird, and historically having to sit at a computer and plan is one thing that makes me feel like I’m not doing enough but these emails have been energizing. The last several weeks of our journey have a lot to look forward to. From RYLA to Coddiwompling out of the country to a volunteer gig which will also be part of Kai’s birthday celebration, I’ve spent much of my week coordinating, and planning for things that are keeping me eager and aware that the end of this year won’t mean the end of our journey or our community service. One upcoming opportunity will be working with a Rotarian I met in Florida on promotional materials for her district’s youth programming. It’s amazing to be building something that will be a long lasting evident impact of this year.

2. RYLA Check In
Before RYLA, we are asked to spend some time with the Junior Counselor (JC) we will be paired with. I ended up spending four and a half hours in a Target-based Starbucks talking to mine. Though I know several of the JCs this year, I didn’t know Alek at all prior to being paired with him. Now I can’t imagine being paired with anyone else. Though our conversation began with RYLA planning, it ended with discussing our mutual fear of the insane intelligence of octopi. I’m looking forward to RYLA and working alongside such an intelligent and entertaining young leader.

3. Celebrating Culture and Family
The past couple days, Kai, Evan, and I have gotten to celebrate a lot. Juneteenth, Pride, and Father’s Day all in one weekend.

We first attended Loveland’s Juneteenth festival and got to enjoy poetry and music by some talented Black artists in the Northern Colorado area. We also went to Black Pride Colorado’s Queer Cookout: Family Celebration, a celebration of both Pride and Juneteenth. This event had us eating cotton candy, buying silly pins for my pin vest, and my favorite: watching Kai and Evan both trying to remember how to roller skate. Watching them skate around under a giant disco ball, in an environment filled with so much community and so much love I had to stop and smile and realize how magical my life is right now. Sunday we got to eat burgers my Grandfather made and give cards and gifts to him and my Dad. These two men have made so much of an impact on my life and taking a minute to celebrate them made me take another breath of gratitude for sure.

Though I’m still struggling a bit, I know the standards I’m holding myself to are completely arbitrary and self-imagined so instead, I’m going to try to keep focusing on these moments of joy, excitement, and celebration as we reach the last few weeks of Coddiwomple.